By Scott Arney
Chief Executive Officer
National Police Federal Credit Union
If you perform data entry, you are certainly familiar with the concept of input and output. You enter data into a system and eventually that data is organized so as to produce a report. The data is the input, and the report is the output. Simple.
If you are a student, you already know that you need to study in order to do well on a test. The time and energy that you put into your studies is your input, your test results are your output.
In both examples, the quality of the input is directly correlative to the quality of the output. Inputting useful and topical data or employing strong study habits will help to ensure that the report you generate is also useful and topical and the test result you achieve is often an excellent representation of your preparation.
When it comes to interpersonal relationships, however, the concept of input and output gets a lot more complicated.
Relationships need constant input and the interactions that exist within relationships are generating both input and output, sometimes simultaneously. My input can result in your output and your input is a source of my output. In this sense, relationship inputs and outputs are dynamic and multi-dimensional, unlike the one-way linear examples I used above.
Additionally, the input and output of interpersonal relationships is not linear, and it is not solely based on logic and reason. Emotions, perceptions, nuances, contexts, and behavioral patterns also play a role in the exchange and production of input and output.
These multi-dimensional aspects are what make relationships and their interactivity both rewarding and difficult, often at the same time.
The rewards of a strong connection and conveyance of input and output are clear. When I provide a message to you and you receive that message in the exact way I intended you to receive it, that interaction reinforces our connection and helps us to further establish common ground and an understanding of each other, at least as it relates to the topic at hand.
Co-workers who collaborate effectively by sharing ideas openly and efficiently achieve more success in a shorter amount of time than those who struggle to exchange that same information.
Friends are much more likely to deepen friendships when they can communicate with each other frequently and on a variety of topics. Romantic partners are much more apt to connect on a deeper and more meaningful level when they can discuss all aspects of their relationship with confidence that what is said is what is meant and what is perceived is also reality.
Of course, as we have established many times, the opposite is also true. When emotion plays a disproportionate role in the exchange of input and output or a certain nuance is missed, the smooth transition can be interrupted and that’s when misunderstandings occur. Sometimes, misunderstood input becomes unfamiliar output and what would otherwise normally be a routine exchange of information quickly becomes an argument based on flawed perceptions or misplaced context.
Decisions, almost always based on some or many forms of input, can really be tricky if the input those decisions are relying on is impeded by misplaced emotion, lost context, or uncharacteristic behavior.
Considering the possibility of these impediments prior to your decision point can be helpful in re-directing the exchange of information back on the intended course. For instance, when you decide to withhold your output until you are sure that you have an accurate read of the input, you are not only going to make a more informed decision, but you are also going to create an opportunity for a better exchange of information.
A consistently strong decision maker is not always going to make the right decisions, but they will always attempt to make informed, rational, and deliberate decisions. In other words, they will consistently put themselves in position to make good decisions. This is especially true in the heat of the moment or when those around them may be losing their cool. Refining your output before you produce it takes some self-discipline but is also a fundamental tool of a strong decision maker.
If the people around you know that they can provide you with input that will be received positively and that you, as the receiver, will ask questions and seek clarity if you do not fully understand what is being offered, they will be much more likely to share information with you and you will be a more informed decision maker. You will also enjoy healthier relationships because candid and purposeful communication without constant fear of misunderstanding is at the foundation of effective interpersonal interactions.
Applying that same level of thoughtfulness and awareness to the input you give others is equally important to strong decision making. Not only does this practice put those around you in a position to make good decisions, but it also helps to ensure that you will be included in meaningful discussions in which you will undoubtedly gain useful information to be applied to your own decision-making.
Your output also creates input for those around you in other ways as well, whether you mean to or not. Non-verbal communication, positive or negative, can play a big role in the input you provide. Sometimes what you say isn’t as important as how you say it. When you have a healthy awareness of your body language, tone, and demeanor you create the best possible scenario for successfully delivering your intended message.
Even if you employ these practices to the greatest degree possible, you will still find yourself in difficult situations from time to time. The objective is certainly not to be someone who always says the right thing at the right time in the right way. Nor is it to avoid tough discussions or difficult interactions. The objective is to elevate your awareness and understanding of the importance of what you say and what you hear, to be alert and mindful when you interact with others, and to strive to make the most out of those interactions.
